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I have been friends for over two decades, who has faced and conquered several obstacles, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she's constantly blindsided in relationships. Her husband left her, and it was an unexpected event. A lot of her friends drifted away during that time, since they had been drawn to the spouse. This surprised her deeply. She made greater energy toward our bond, likely grasped more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

In the time since, many of her friends vanished and she isn't certain of the reason. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, although she was very skilled at her work, she departed without knowing what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we've both retired and are seeing frequent meetups, yet I realize my position between us feels one-sided. I start topics of conversation only for her to redirect the talk toward her own topics. Politically, she has unyielding views. My effort is to propose factchecking and alternate views.

She is planning a holiday to a country I've visited on several occasions even called home previously. My intention was to offer advice, however, my input met with resistance. She purely solely sought validation of her plans. I recently come back from 30 days in that place she is eager to meet, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want in this role that walks away without explanation, yet I doubt she will ever grasp the impact of her behaviour on my confidence. Currently, I am in avoidance mode. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to cut and run, yet this is not often the peaceful resolution that we desire. However, addressing it aiming for a solution demands strength and willingness for each of you.

Therapists recommend trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step involves describing what typically happens during your discussions. Aim for this to be objective and clear and basically what a recording device would replay. Step two is to tell how this leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no dispute about this. Your feelings are your feelings, after all. Finally involves requesting ways you together can shift the dynamics between you."

Keep in mind she too has her own side, meaning you must to stay open to acknowledge it. One effective method is telling to the other person:

"Now you talk while I will remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's remarkably successful to encourage better communication.

Key Takeaways

Your friend might reject all you say, for those who cling to a “survival narrative”: they maintain a story of their life they won't release because their very survival relies on it and it represents they trust. This is difficult when there seems no clear path with these people, just dead ends. Yet she could initially present like this and then think about what you've said. And should you never reach a resolution, it will give you closure that you've been open and direct.